terezi <3< vriska is still the best ship

but vriska is dead so NO MORE

SOBBING

WEEPING

OVERREACTING

…

this is a late post, isn’t it?

i don’t know why he was making that face

“is that a watermelon”

“give it to me”

“now”

Lots of nosebleed pics on my dash today and I actually have a nosebleed right now.

conspiracy.

But nope just sitting here tumblin’ in a towel.

I am so classy. Look at this class.

You cannot hope to beat V in a class-off. She is simply the best there is.

Dedicated to Zander and his lemur milk fetish.

I know my way around the internet and how to get exotic pets. I should just start informing people of how to get their hands on weird animals. Because that’s what the world needs. More crazy lion ladies.

Anyway.

The first thing you need to know is that certain states have different laws regarding exotic pets, so be sure to check those out before purchasing or even considering getting an exotic pet!

For example, my state, South Carolina, allows exotic pets with little to no regulation. No permit necessary. They do place a ban on certain animals, such as bears, wolves, bison, and other overly dangerous creatures.

In Georgia, however, they have a strict ban on any and all exotic pets. (Sorry, Z!) So if you want one, it’ll have to be done illegally, which I don’t recommend.

You can look up all state laws concerning exotic pets here.

The next thing to worry about is not where to buy a lemur, but where to house her! Depending on the breed of lemur, she might need more or less space. Always be prepared to spend a shit ton of money on housing and supplies before you even start looking at ads in the paper selling lemurs!

But honestly, if you’re just looking to milk the poor thing, you might as well just keep it in your living room, because you’re going to give it up afterwards anyway. Let’s just assume you’re doing that.

Because it is not breeding season, all of the respectable lemur breeders are fresh out of lemurs! But do not fret, they will be available again in the spring.

When you do manage to acquire one, you’ll want to actually buy two. A male and female, bred and sold specifically for lemur breeding purposes. The cost will be around $3,500. You want a breeding pair, because you want your female to produce milk! Which happens when she needs to make milk for tiny lemurs.

So, once you’ve got all that sorted, it’s time to milk your lemur! All animals basically milk the same way. Just start at the top of the nipple and pull down toward the bottom. It usually comes out in a long stream or short bursts. Just be gentle, because she’s a lot smaller than a big, bulky cow.

And that is how one acquires lemur milk.